I began applying a hotfix to my biomechanical system shortly after leaving the hospital.  For starters, I have eliminated caffeine.  Previously, my routine was six to ten glasses of ice tea per day and occasionally a couple cups of coffee.  It was also common for me to take Benadryl at night as a sleep aid.  Without it, I would easily be awake until 1:00 or 2:00 am in the morning.  Benadryl has been eliminated from my system as well.  By the way, this was not easy and is still proving difficult at times.  Apparently I did have some level of addiction to both of these drugs.  Currently, I take no other drugs with the exception of a daily low-dosage aspirin prescribed by my doctor.  However I do take a multi-vitamin and an herbal tablet for men each day.   

I have also begun a light routine of exercise.  At this point, this includes stretching exercises and walking.  Previously my daily routine was nothing – you know the Zen approach.  Obviously, the lack of exercise in my life is one of the fundamental mistakes that led to my current condition.  I will address my planned approached to exercise in an upcoming post. 

I have also begun meditating twenty minutes per day.  This technique provides the deep rest that is required for healing.  This was not prescribed by my doctor and I will talk about this in detail in the near future.

Further, I plan on becoming a vegetarian.  Again, this has not been prescribed by my doctor.  This will be a very difficult transition for me since I really enjoy steak, burgers, lobster, meatballs, pepperoni pizza, and on and on…However, intellectually I know that this is the best choice for me.  I believe the transition will take a few months, so my goal is to be vegetarian by May 1^st.  Again, this is a subject that deserves much discussion, so I will address it soon.  In the meantime, I am eliminating obvious gross violations  of a balanced healthy diet such as fast food.  I am also actively adding more fruits and vegetables to my meals and in fact some my meals are already vegetarian.

I have only applied a Hotfix to keep my system from crashing.  I intend to embrace a much more intellectual and perhaps philosophical solution.  My goal is not to be better, and not to restore my health to what it was a few years ago, rather, I intend to restore my health to what it was ten or more years ago.  I will open my mind to any wisdom that I find on the subject.  I can tell you that many profound solutions can be discovered in ancient literature; so at least a part of my new journey will start there…

Why is it that we violate our own nature and fall prey to the consequences of destructive choices?  I am an ordinary family man, a simple and average American.  I am an accountant toiling in the everyday world, and like most, I seek rewarding challenges.  Inside, I know it’s not what we do, but how we do it that is the true stuff of greatness; and yet, at the age of fifty-two, I find myself spinning out of control, standing at the edge of a of dark abyss.  My choices are critical and my well-being is at stake.

I suppose the real warnings started a couple years when I became very ill with gastrointestinal symptoms.  I was later diagnosed with diverticulitis.  Since then I have experienced periodic bouts of gastric distress – at times this can be very painful and debilitating.  Also various and seemingly unrelated symptoms have emerged.  I have visited many doctors and followed their advice, but the malady continues to return.

About three weeks ago on a Friday night, while sitting at my computer, I began to feel ill.  It was a familiar and yet, unfamiliar feeling.    I felt nausea as I have before, but it was different somehow…I decided to rest for the evening and woke up the next morning feeling even worse.  I proceeded to do some work on my computer, hoping the symptoms would pass.  I told myself that I am strong and that I can endure any discomfort.  After about thirty minutes into my task, my heart began to speed up and the nausea intensified.  I felt a pain in my chest and dismissed it as heartburn or the like.  My heart rate increased and the beat was noticeably irregular – “I must have eaten something very bad,” I thought and decided to lie down for awhile.  Over the next few hours my heart slowed and then increased again – seemingly in an endless cycle.  I finally decided that my wife should drive me to the hospital – “maybe something is wrong.”

At the hospital, they hooked me up to wires and began the task of monitoring my heart.  During that time, my resting heat rate ranged from ninety to more than one hundred and thirty beats per second.  Very unlike me, I became very nervous about everything happening.  The doctored walked in and asked, “How are you doing?”  “I’m a bit wired,” I explained, trying to diffuse fear with humor while stretching out my arms with wires dangling.  In truth, I was concerned.  The doctor took my history and ordered a number of tests.  The hospital checked me in.  The next day, I heard words like murmur, leaky valve, tachycardia, and arrhythmia.  All of this was happening to me – the preeminent tough guy dissipated that day.  The cardiologist released me to rest at home and ordered me to follow-up with another visit in a couple days.   

I see this as a new start.  Being a private person, it is especially difficult for me to talk about my failing health.  I need to be strong and yet I find myself in a most compromised state.  Now I am ready to face it and unfortunately that strength is born of fear.  Part of me is tempted to gulp down a pitcher of raw eggs and jog down Main Street with my MP3 player blasting the Rocky theme.  I need that kind of determination, but the moment calls for a new calm determination that will guide me through the vast life-style changes that are required.

My journey has brought me to a most important crossroads.  From here on, I will hold myself accountable and document my progress on this post for all to see.  Hopefully this will benefit others.  I have questions to answer, difficult decisions to make, and I have changes to embrace.  I will address more of the story that has already transpired and discuss the various experiments in self-healing that I undertake.  Maybe the doctors will say that what I have endured over the last few years are a series of unfortunate and disconnected events.  Is that really true?  Others might say that I have been over-stressed.  If that is true, what is stress and what is the source of this stress?  I think we will discover that the answer is unexpected.  Welcome to my Journey; what happens next will surprise you…

The truth isn’t always warm and inspiring; however, it is always empowering.  There are fundamental flaws in your thinking and in my thinking.  We perpetuate limitations, false boundaries, and perverted interpretations of reality through artificial social constructs called culture.  You believe something, not because it’s true (and I’ll guarantee you that it is never true), but because it has been programmed into your very DNA through centuries of indoctrination as if we were living some demented scene from The Matrix. 

We can break the ties that bind us and transcend the illusion that the human empire is founded in righteousness, but first we must hear the truth.  and the truth is often expressed best by poets, philosophers and musicians.  With that in mind, I present John Lennon’s “Working Class Hero” for your consideration.  Don’t just listen to this as another tune; rather, let Lennon’s insightful words and cutting instrumentation burn like acid into your soul:

It’s worth hearing another version of this powerful song.  Many gifted artists have attempted to remake a Beatles song and they almost always fail.  Here is an exception:  Green Day creates an amazing version of Lennon’s cultural depiction:

You are being watched.

The dollar is not real currency.  It’s used to monitor your movements by an agency that doesn’t exist!

Invisible cookies cannot be detected by any computer technology that we know.  Their real purpose is related to engrams planted in your neural tissue by messages concealed in television transmissions!

Cartoons provide cover for dangerous clues.  Certain sunglasses can enhance vision to reveal underground sanctuaries!

Payroll forms don’t just record paycheck elections.  Members of a new order are working with your employer and the forms are stored in a remote warehouse until gas station attendants collect them for a diabolical event!

Online blogs posted by lunatics are shielded from investigations.  The truth can be protected in jars containing strawberry jam!

Years ago, they experimented on an obscure writer named Kafka.  The cryptic details are hidden in the pages of his book called The Trial!  Note:  read page 100 with the special sunglasses.

The planned mission to Mars is a subterfuge.  This insidious operation is connected to unusual molecular bonds found in a popular candy bar!  Consumption of this confection should be considered hazardous.

It’s true that Kafka never wore sunglasses.  However, his dangerous visions are associated with a web of secrets, and the blueprints were hidden in the Shadows Of a dugout, during a neighborhood little League game!

Later this year Google will unleash Google Wave.  Google Wave is a new hybrid communication and collaboration tool that is designed on a open source platform.  The concept is innovative.  Wave will allow for new ways to interract on the web in real-time and should prove to be the basis for many interesting viral apps and websites. 

People will be able to communicate in a forum of richly formatted text, photos, videos, maps, and more…Participants in a Wave will be able to reply anywhere in the message, edit the content and add participants at any point in the process.  Playback will permit anyone to rewind the wave to see who said what and when. 

We believe this one is worth watching.  Updated reports will be posted for your consideration, in the meantime, here is an early screenshot:

The plastic tips at the end of shoelaces are called aglets.  Their true purpose is sinister! 

Topically applied fluoride doesn’t prevent tooth decay.  It does render teeth detectable by spy satellites! 

There was a magic bullet.  It was forged by Illuminati mystics to prevent us from learning the truth! 

Secret messages encoded in amino acid chains of high-fiber breakfast bars caused rumors of my demise to be greatly exaggerated. 

Amusing words are only a facade…signs and indications will reveal questions that are ominous and mysterious answers as puzzle pieces.

Bazooka gum wrappers encode the true nature of my supposed demise.  Interpretations are delivered by errand boys. 

The results are manufactured, tabulated, and cataloged by grocery clerks in the latest cartoon episode of the Justice League.

On May 25, 1961 President Kennedy challenged our Nation to land on the Moon and safely return before the end of the decade.  Eight years later, on July 20, 1969 we did just that.  The Lunar Module touched down on the Moon as Neil Armstrong spoke the words:  “Tranquility Base Here, The Eagle Has Landed.”  At that breath-taking moment, and as the Columbia Command Module orbited the Moon, the Earth changed. 

America was spell-bound as we waited for the next daring move…from the ladder of the Lunar Landing Module, Neil Armstrong reached human foot toward the unearthly surface of the Moon.  As Armstrong made first contact with a celestial body, his voice reverberated through time:  “That’s One Small Step For A Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind.”

For those of us who witnessed these Epic events unfold, there simply are no words that can express the tranformation that our collective minds experienced.  This is a true heroic tale of astronomical proportions.  The faith in our country and our future, in a single moment, took a quantum leap.  Everything was possible and nothing could stop us.  The Astronauts confirmed in our souls that our potential was unlimited.

What happened?  That was forty years ago.  Yes, there have been vast innovations and technological progess.  But where is the faith and the spirit?  Where are the Heroic Leaders who will push the boundaries of our perceived limitations and take us on the next Epic Journey beyond imagination?  Are they to be found on Capital Hill or Pennsylvannia Avenue?  I know; we can only frown, grimmace or laugh at the thought.  Then I ask:  “what’s up with you and me?”  Why do we settle for mediocrity in this country?  Will the Eagle ever fly again?

Let’s use this moment to reflect and reawaken our unstoppable spirit, and let’s make that collective transformation once again.

Just Imagine…

Recently, Bono of U2, while accepting a Grammy award, said that they are only playing in the country that the Beatles discovered.  Others, to include classical music conductor Leonard Bernstein, have rightly referred to the Beatles as the Forth B of Music. 

So what if the Beatles continued to evolve.  What would they sound like today?  We can be sure that it would be something unexpected and something ground breaking.  I think you will discover the answer in the latest release from “The Fireman.”  This band has created a sound that echos the Beatles with layers of evolution added for good measure.  Here is a song from their album, Electric Arguments, called The Travelling Light:

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Not convinced yet, well then here’s another clue for you all, the walrus was Paul:

Yes, The Fireman is Paul McCartney.  That’s him playing bass and singing all of the vocals.  Of course, he wrote every song on Electric Arguments and naturally he plays every instrument.  This is another brilliant landmark and about as close to The Beatles today as one can imagine.  Many of the other tracks are more experimental with a few great pop moments mixed in.  I highly recommend you give this work of art a spin.

Israel Kamakawiwo’ole (IZ) was such a person.  He left us at the young age of 38 in 1997.  Yet he left behind a rare artistic vision to inspire us to dream again.  His art was his voice and his unique style of Hawaiian folk and jazz. Sometimes IZ would take a simple pop tune, work it with his vocal and ukulele magic, and transform the arrangement into an unforgettable moment. 

IZ Lives!  Watch and Listen closely and you just might perceive the spark of his amazing dream: